I don’t know about you but as soon as I see a beautiful, sunny day, my mind goes into “spring forward” mode.  When we begin to come out of hibernation, we feel rejuvenated and more energetic as the landscape comes back to life. This is also a point in the year when it is a good idea to reassess your goals. Check if you are on the right track and also come up with new “mini” goals for the next few months. For me, these are usually directed in learning a new skill or trying a new sport for example.

Don’t be afraid to take on something new, seek new experiences, reconnect with old friends or meet new people. Oftentimes, it is through these situations that we may discover new opportunities. Get out of those sweatpants and beloved slippers, put down the remote and get out there.

Here are some ideas:

http://www.toronto.ca/parks/torontofun/

http://www.runningroom.com/hm/

http://www.tsa-art.ca/

http://www.traveltowellness.com/toronto-cooking-classes

http://www3.sympatico.ca/chuan.chee/TorontoDance/

http://www.climbingacademy.com/

http://www.ilovetennis.ca/

http://www.tbn.ca/

http://www.volunteertoronto.ca/

The Canadian Youth Business Foundation (CYBF) will be hosting a Lunch and Learn Seminar – Building Your Toolbox for Success. This will be helpful to those who are thinking about starting a business or are in the start-up phase. Presented by a guest speaker, a professor at Centennial College, serial entrepreneur and business consultant, who will be sharing tools for success to help generate leads, convert leads into sales and methods to get and stay motivated while growing your business.

February 25, 2010 12:30 PM to 2:30 PM

Cost: $10 – $19

For more information contact:
Phone: 416-408-2923
Ext: 2109

Address:
100 Adelaide Street West, 6th Floor

http://www.cybf.ca/news-events/

Some of us wear our hearts on our sleeves and some of us build walls that are impossible to break down.  The way we approach a new relationship is all dependant on the outcome of our past relationships and whether or not, we have truly moved on from them with new insight. I see many women – and men, who carry themselves with battered armour and they enter new relationships, ready to battle all in the quest of searching for love. Don’t be jaded by finding “true love”. Most of the time people are infatuated and not really in love with the other person. When times get tough, they wonder why their fairytale romance has been shredded by reality.

Humans are creatures of habit. If you are finding yourself in relationships that constantly fail or you are unhappy in, it’s time to do a little self-evaluation. What type of people are you attracting into your life? Often times this person reflects our own weaknesses and we place so much expectation of happiness upon them we are baffled when they disappoint us. We feel that we lose control of ourselves, we feel cheated somehow, and we feel insecure. Guess what? Your partner starts to see those very things in you and that’s when things can start to get rocky. If you catch yourself with these destructive tendencies and you realize they are of your own doing, you can still salvage the relationship. However, if you feel that your partner is truly not the one for you, stop grasping into thin air. Let go and stop fighting for something that maybe never really was to begin with.

Single life is truly a time of self discovery. It can be one of the toughest times in your life or it can truly work in your benefit. Sure, it can be lonely a lot of the time but usually, that is by choice. As with any loss, give yourself some time to get over the break up but don’t spend years dwelling over it! You only have this one life to create whatever life it is you want for yourself. Shed the armour and step into the next phase of life, light and free of whatever it was that was dragging you down. When you carry yourself with an optimistic outlook on life, you exude a kind of confidence that is all your own. There is nothing sexier than a person who is their own source of happiness rather than placing it into someone else’s hands.

Ah, Valentine’s Day.  I am a romantic at heart but I am not one for buying into commercialism. I was going to write about romantic date ideas but I didn’t want to sound cliché by suggesting you cook a romantic dinner, sprinkle the bedroom floor with rose petals and blow your pay cheque on some uber sexy lingerie. These ideas are all romantic but they are also TYPICAL. Why have a card company dictate how you spend this special day? If you really want to impress your special someone, pause for a minute or two, and really think about what would make this person feel appreciated, what turns them on and how you can express your own feelings for them. This is your chance to have some fun and be creative. Everyone has a soft spot in their heart. Maybe a dinner would do wonders- if you partner is a foodie. Maybe you’re with someone who has an artistic streak or loves sports and adventure. The best way to bring out someone’s passionate side is to have them be involved in something they are passionate about!

Don’t have anyone to share Valentine’s Day with? The worst thing to do is stay at home and whine about being single, then stuffing yourself with a gallon of ice cream. Round up your single friends, dress to the nines and make it a night on the town. Staying at home is not the end of the world either. Why not pamper yourself with a candlelit bubble bath, then prepare your favourite gourmet meal and rent a DVD? Or treat yourself to a day at the spa, or head to the gym for a fitness or yoga class. You never know where you might meet someone special. Look forward to treating yourself and your quality time alone, by choice of course.

Winterlicious

Starts: January 29, 2010
Ends: February 11, 2010

As part of Toronto’s WinterCity Festival, Winterlicious offers two popular programs for you to savour.

Winterlicious Culinary Events:
10 mouth-watering culinary events featuring some of Toronto’s diverse cuisine and notable chefs.

Winterlicious Prix Fixe Promotion:
150 of Toronto’s restaurants offering three-course prix fixe menus at one of three price point categories:

$15 Lunch and/or $25 Dinner
$20 Lunch and/or $35 Dinner
$25 Lunch and/or $45 Dinner
(Per person, plus taxes and gratuity)
View all menus at: www.toronto.ca/winterlicious

http://wx.toronto.ca/inter/se/restaurants.nsf/winterlicious?openform

Toronto’s WinterCity Festival

Starts: January 29, 2010
Ends: February 11, 2010

Cost: Free

WOW! Series at Nathan Phillips Square
-Beat the cold with a spectacular fire installation, gravity-defying aerial dance performances, ice sculptures and themed skating parties.
Warm Up Series at Toronto Attractions
-Five special performances and events produced by Toronto-based artists and institutions.
Winterlicious at Toronto Restaurants
Experience a series of mouth-watering culinary events or indulge in great food at great value with the ever-popular prix fixe promotion.

Address:
WOW Series! takes place at Nathan Phillips Square
100 Queen Street West
Queen Street West and Bay Street
Map to this event

TTC: Exit Queen Subway Station (wheelchair accessible) or Osgoode Subway Station.

Brazilian Carnival Fever 2010

Starts: February 6, 2010 09:00 PM
Ends: February 7, 2010 03:00 AM

Cost: $20 – $29

5th Annual Brazilian Carnival Fever 2010

High quality team of performers and band members from Banda Carnavalesco, a full entourage of Brazilian Musicians with rhythms of SAMBA, MARCHA, AXÉ MUSIC and BATUCADA

Brazilian DJ Vince

Special Guest Appearance by Carlinhos Pernambuco, Brazilian Musician performing an arrangement of Brazilian pop rock, Afro Brazilian rhythms and Brazilian ” samba ” beats

Advance tickets: $20

Tickets @ door: $25

For more information contact:
Phone: 416-299-5932

Address:
1305 Dundas Street West
Dundas & Dovercourt
Map to this event

http://www.brazilfest.ca/

Trends in the health, diet and fitness are constantly changing. One day something is good for you and the next day it’s not. This can become confusing, overwhelming and self-defeating. The key to optimal health is to live an optimal lifestyle, and that is where the average busy and often stressed person fails. There are components to fitness that are equally shared: mind and body and soul.

Mind:

Mental health pertains specifically as the ability to learn and to grow intellectually. A healthy mind is one that is able to interact with people and the environment. It is also able to cultivate and sustain healthy relationships.

How to improve your mental health:

• New experiences and learning new skills enhance this aspect. It is also important to make the time for self-reflection, which many people overlook.
• Meditation, reading, journal writing and puzzle solving to name a few, are a few good methods to sharpen the mind.
• Concentration also mentally prepares you for the next aspect, training the body.

Body:

Physical health seems pretty self explanatory but many people tend to overlook the other components of fitness. Naturally, any type of movement or physical activity is beneficial to improve health. If you are currently following some type of fitness program or routine, remember, cardio alone is not enough. Incorporate resistance/strength training as well as flexibility. Take care of your body and it will take care of you!

How to improve your physical health:

• cardio- train your heart at least 4-7 days a week, 30 minutes minimum
• resistance/strength training 2-4 days a week
• flexibility training 4-7 days a week
• Keep a healthy BMI (Body composition and proportion of fat free mass)
• Eat a healthy diet. Eat small meals evenly throughout the day
• Refer to Canada’s Physical Activity Guide to Healthy Active Living and Canada’s Food Guide http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/fn-an/food-guide-aliment/index-eng.php

Soul:

• Spirituality, for some is still a vague subject.  It is simply recognized as the ability to put into practice moral or religious beliefs. Spiritual wellness may not be something that gets much attention, yet its impact on your life is unavoidable. The basis of spirituality is discovering a sense of meaningfulness in your life and coming to know that you have a purpose to fulfill. For many people it is based on religious beliefs, for others being at peace with nature can give a sense of spiritual connection.

How to improve your spiritual health:

• Be quiet. Take time for yourself every day, even if it’s just before going to sleep, or when driving home.
• Practice being non-judgmental and have an open mind
• Be receptive to pain or times of sorrow. It is often in these times when we discover how spirituality can help us cope.
• Practice forgiveness
• Pray, meditate or worship
• Live joyfully

You will feel stronger, happier and be able to do more activities no matter your age.  Practicing wellness will reduce the effects of aging and allow participation in sports and recreation that might not be possible with lower levels of fitness. Having greater levels of fitness will reduce the incidence of injury and also reduce the chance of illness.  Good health is something that we should all be investing in. Health is wealth.

This evening, I tuned into some of the mainstream television shows (ie. Grey’s Anatomy) and noticed a common theme: relationships don’t last. It seems that  when someone starts to want different things than their partner, the solution is to call it quits. I find this is particularly true of women. What is it with women having to “just be”, “go find them selves” or “think about what they want” ? Women: you should have figured that stuff out before committing yourself to someone else! I won’t lie, I have found myself uttering those very words in past relationships. To be frank, when you leave to figure out whatever it is you need to figure out, remember, the person you left may not always be waiting for you when you return.

Why do couples drastically decide to split rather than working through the changes? You will not always want the exact same things in life but those differences can bring you closer if you chose to see them as opportunities to grow. I think that the independence of modern women offers more choices in life but those choices also add confusion and indecisiveness. I know of many couples that parted ways because the woman’s expectations were not met or there was “something missing”.

For those of you that watched Oprah today, you would have seen the attractive, successful and single 41 year old woman who could not commit herself to any man. They pointed out her “wish list” which included : handsome, funny/silly, smart, attractive, gets along with and is liked by all members of his family, never before married, no children, dresses well, does not drink through a straw…they ridiculed her high standards and stated that that “man” does not exist out there. They made her simplify her “wish list” to instead, emphasize her core values that she was seeking. This opened up more possibilities of meeting someone. When she went out on dates however, her old habits surfaced and she would reject men for minuscule things! They blatantly told her that she will always be alone if she does not become more open and realistic.

This generation of women is all about the next best thing. It is awful that we are never thin enough, attractive enough, rich enough, popular enough, successful enough…the problem is we want too much! Women- take heed and don’t make your life a reflection of your beloved characters on TV. While there is nothing wrong with being ambitious, don’t forget to be grateful for all of the good things you already have. Before you move on and decide to leave Mr. Now for Mr. Next, think about what you will be giving up and if it is worth it?

“You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.”

Firstly, happy New Year dearest readers! Thank you for all of your support over the past year. Hopefully, 2010 will bring about the best. Confidently Single will continue to provide articles on the topics that are on your minds.

Watching the TV and reading the Headlines on various magazines this past week, common key phrases keep popping up: “New Year, New You”, “How to Have Your Best Year Ever”, “Have the Body You Always Wanted” and so forth. As we all know, this is the time of the year we see gym memberships go up as people flock to the gyms to lose the holiday weight. Come February, the gyms will pretty much have the same amount of people before the holidays. Same thing goes for product marketing and diets. While these things are valid to consider, don’t buy into the hype. I can assure you that there is not a single product out there that will help you lose weight quickly! If you are on diet that promises rapid weight loss be weary that severe calorie restriction only results in decreasing your metabolism. Therefore, when you resume your normal eating patterns, the now excess calories will be stored as fat. And what’s worse, you may even gain more weight than what your initial weight was before the diet.  People often ask me how to lose weight quickly or get six pack abs. My answer is always the same: diet and exercise.

Losing weight is a process that requires commitment. If your goal is to lose weight, be realistic and understand that there is a timeline to healthy weight loss; about 2lbs a week. There are many ways to go about it and the outcomes depend on: your level of fitness, how much time you have available to work out and having a good support system. The other crucial part of weight loss is diet. Food is life giving and meant to be enjoyed. Many people have negative relationships with food that become detrimental to success and good health.

There is another component that is equally essential and that is your lifestyle. If you don’t get enough sleep, constantly feel stressed, never make time for yourself, smoke and drink large amounts of alcohol, for example, no amount of diet and exercise will give you results. Losing weight is not about fitting into a size 0 pair of jeans. It is about feeling healthy, feeling energized, feeling durable to do daily activities. It is about having a healthy relationship with yourself. To truly attain an optimal level of health, you need to have a good balance of mind, body and soul.

If weight loss is one of your goals for this year, be patient! Do not get discouraged and stick to your plan. This month, I will go into further detail about the mind, body and soul concept.

Please refer to my other articles as well:

http://confidentlysingle.com/?p=89

http://confidentlysingle.com/?p=70

If you have any questions on health and weight loss, you can email them to:

dorothy@confidentlysingle.com

Ladies, when it comes to buying something for your boyfriend, you don’t know where to start sometimes!  When it comes to men, choose gifts that suit his temperament and nature. Rather than looking for generic gift items, find something suitable to his interests and hobbies. If you are still confused about what to get, the gift ideas listed below will come in handy, as it will give you some ideas of what he may enjoy.

• Guys are generally into some type of sport or fitness routine. How about accentuating his wardrobe with a stylish gear or equipment? Tickets to a sporting event work well too.
• What is one thing that a man never parts with? His wallet, of course!! Get an elegant leather wallet for your boyfriend.
• Depending on whether you like him in formal attire or casual one, suit him up. Make sure you buy clothes, which he will feel comfortable wearing and reflect his personality.
• How about a gift basket filled with men’s toiletries?  Women are not the only ones entitled to pamper themselves. Gift certificates to a men’s spa can serve as a gift alternative.
• Jewellery is also not limited to women. Get him a nice watch, ring or even a chain.
• Men are usually gadget freaks. You can go for an electronic notebook, mp3 player, GPS system or cell phone.
• If you want to give him something practical, stock him up on some essentials. A guy is always in need of socks, underwear and undershirts.
• If your boyfriend loves to read, get him a book or a year’s subscription of his favourite magazine.
• Fragrance qualifies as top gift option. Men are also particular about smell, so before buying the perfume, make sure you know his taste.
• Among the other generic gift ideas you can try out: an elegant pen, music CD’s, movie DVD’s and video games

As if Christmas shopping wasn’t bad enough to try and pick gifts for your friends and family, it becomes more of challenge if you have a girlfriend to buy for. Guys know that not only do the gifts you buy show how well you know her, your lovely is also looking at them from a “how much he loves me” angle. I hate to say that there are women that have this type mentality but they are out there. So to help you poor fellows out, with a little research, you can buy your girlfriend the Christmas gifts she will appreciate. No two women are alike so don’t think that what you bought your ex will work this time around. If you are really stuck, here are some fool proof gifts you cannot go wrong with.

Spa Therapy Treatment

One of the things that many women complain about is how their feet are killing them- stupid high heels! That’s why the luxury of a pedicure will delight and pamper her all at the same time. This is a great Christmas gift idea and they usually sell in the $25-$50 range.  If the foot spa isn’t luxurious enough for the special girl in your life, then there are many ways to pamper her. There are various massage and facial treatments to choose from and the effects last for weeks.

A Novel

If your girlfriend reads a lot of books, this Christmas gift idea lets her feel appreciated that you noticed her interests. If you’re having trouble finding that specific novel, then get her a gift card for a book store instead.

A Designer Fragrance

We all know how important the right perfume is for women, and more likely than not, you may have bought her the wrong scent before. Perfumes can be tricky since not all scents smell the same way on a person. Try to find scents that compliment her personality, ask a sales associate for help or just pick scents that appeal to you and tell her how much you will enjoy smelling it on her body.

Lingerie

One of the simplest and most romantic gift ideas a guy can buy his girlfriend is lingerie – after all, it’s something she wears, so you should have an idea of what she already likes. Just make sure you get the right size though, especially if you want to see her in whatever you buy!

Gift Baskets

All women love products that will beautify them. Moisturizers, lotions, bubble bath, lip gloss, and so on. Help her stock up on her favourite products.

Next Week: Gift Ideas for Him